Not A Pretty Girl
by Origami Creature
Summary: It's not easy to be the bald girl in high school. Bella Swan is 16, has alopecia, and has just got her first wig. She has moved to Forks to live with her dad in a bid to escape the bullies at her old school. In Forks she meets Alice, her first real friend and Edward, the first boy to ever show any interest in her. How will they react when they find out the truth about Bella? AH E/B
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. This is just for fun, enjoy :)**

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**Some info about Androgenetic Alopecia (AGA)**

Also known as male or female pattern baldness. It is an overall thinning of the hair to an almost transparent state. Female pattern baldness is not usually a sign of any underlying medical disorder. However, hair loss can be triggered by stressful events, surgeries or child birth.

There are few approved drugs used to treat AGA, if a drug is found which the patient responds to the patient must continue to use the drug for the rest of his/her life. If you stop using the drug hair loss will begin again. Hair transplants are rarely successful in women, and are quite costly. Hair hairpieces and wigs are often the least expensive and safest way to disguise hair loss.

The emotional and psychological affects of hair loss in women can be devastating. There is no known cure for female pattern baldness. Hair loss is usually permanent.

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**Chapter One**

Hello. My name is Isabella Swan but I prefer Bella. I'm 16 and I'm _not_ a pretty girl.

I know what you're going to say – _Don't be silly you're beautiful, beauty is in the eye of the beholder_. Well that's bullshit. There are two kinds of people in this world: pretty people and ugly people. I am ugly.

Let me explain. I have androgenetic alopecia. That basically means that I'm losing my hair, very slowly. It's also called female pattern baldness. You can google it. But I'll tell you something google won't ... it sucks monkey balls. I feel like a freak and the kids at my school – well my old school – treat me like I have the plague. I have no friends, I've never had a boyfriend and I will probably die alone. Not to be dramatic about it or anything.

Tomorrow is my first day at Forks High. I moved here from Arizona where I lived with my mom. She's great but she's like a cool, hot mom so she's totally freaked out by my scalp gain (sometimes I like to refer to my hair loss as my scalp gain ... because I'm a crazy person). Anyway things at my old school got pretty intense last year, by 'things' I mean the relentless daily torture I suffered at the hands of the other kids. I swear as soon as people graduate from high school they like immediately forget how horrible it is, it's like a freaking war zone. I guess that's why I'm writing this. So that I won't forget, I don't ever want to forget how Tanya liked to ruffle my hair around 'playfully' in order to display my bald spots to the world. And I don't ever want to forget the way that Jane refused to be my lab partner because she didn't want to 'catch a disease' off me. There were of course some more innocent remarks that still really hurt my feelings. People would ask me if I had cancer or girls would just remark that my hair was _so_ thin. Like I hadn't noticed that or something. Anyway the final straw came when I was in the girls' locker room after gym. Tanya and a group of popular bitches came in, they grabbed me and held me down. Tanya kept telling me I should just shave my head and get rid of my pathetic comb over. She had a disposable razor in one hand and I think she was really going to do it. Luckily the gym teacher walked in and broke it up. We all got detention.

It was while sitting in detention that afternoon that I decided to leave. I texted Charlie, my dad, to tell him I wanted to come live with him. He was over the moon. My mom was angry but I could tell she was kind of happy to get rid of me. Not in a horrible-Joan-Crawford-Mommy-Dearest kind of way just in that a balding daughter is not something that any of her parenting books had prepared her for. She looked at me and wanted to help me but she was just plain stumped. It must be hard as a parent to not have the solution, to have to look at your only child and say "Sorry kid, I can't help you". I get that and I don't hate Rene for wanting me gone. The sad truth is, sometimes I've wanted me gone too.

Another reason that I wanted to move to Forks is that I've come to quite a big decision. I'm going to start wearing a wig. Doctors can't help me. There is no drug that will help women who are going bald. They may try to sell you some expensive Rogaine shit but I'll let you in on a little secret – nothing works! Well not for me it didn't. My hair started to get thinner when I was ten. My parents had just broken up and my mom was moving us to Arizona. I was devastated. I loved my dad and I didn't want to leave him but my mom was taking me with her and that was that. My doctors have all said that this event was probably the 'trigger' for my hair loss. My parents aren't really to blame, chances are I would have lost my hair anyway but I might have had a few more years if it wasn't for the divorce. So there you have it, after six long years of trying every cream, spray, vitamin supplement and steroid out there I'm going to get a wig.

So why do I have to move in order to get a wig? Well, can you imagine what the cretins at my old school would do to me if I turned up with a full and luscious head of hair next week? Yeah it would not be good – I'm guessing that they'd rip the thing off my head and play 'keep away' with it. Something really juvenile and yet something that would psychologically scar me for the rest of my life.

This summer my mom and I went to California to a salon that specializes in wigs for people with hair loss. The woman who owns it was amazing and she found me the perfect wig, it was an exact match for my real hair and blends into my hair seamlessly. However, it did come at quite a high price. You see it's possible to get amazing wigs, you can wear them on roller coasters and shit (not that I ever would!), you can swim, you can run, you can dance, and if you can find someone who'll have sex with you – you can do that too! Nobody would ever guess that you were wearing one but you have to be willing to pay big bucks. Rene and Charlie cannot afford to pay that much for a wig, so I got a summer job and paid for half of it. They didn't want to take my money but I insisted. I think it's only fair, they didn't expect to have a bald daughter – it's hardly something they've set money aside for.

I arrived in Forks two weeks ago, Charlie didn't say anything about my new hair when he saw me. He just said I looked beautiful like he always does and hugged me. That's the great thing about Charlie he's not a talker, unlike my mom. He knows when to just leave it alone. I really love that about him. Since then I've spent my time fixing my hair and experimenting with washing, curling and clipping it into what's left of my real hair. I've also done some non-hair related things like decorating my room, buying school supplies and being annoyed by the rain here.

Anyway, this is my life and I thought you might like to read about it.

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A/N: I'm kind of nervous about posting this, I don't know if anyone will want to read about it. But it was stuck in my head so I thought it was better to get it out.

Let me know what you think and if you want to read more :) x x


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. This is just for fun, enjoy :)**

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Chapter Two

Today was my first day at Forks High. It was pretty average, I didn't die so that's a plus. Charlie spent the morning fretting over me, but he's not worried about my emotional well being like my mom would be. His concerns are of a more practical variety. Do I have enough money for gas? Are my tail lights working? Is my cell phone battery charged? Yes. I think so. And of course it is. He may have been nervous but my nerves were off the chart this morning.

I spent a lot of time trying to make my hair look normal. I had gotten it into my head that my wig looked too good. I know, I'm insane. But hear me out. If it looks too good that will attract attention, people will look closer and ask me questions about it. That is my nightmare. So I spent a lot of time fixing the bangs, I've never had bangs before but it's pretty much impossible to make a fake hairline look real. It's possible sometimes, like in movies and TV but not so much in real life. I got side-swept bangs which I think suits my face shape. Anyway after a lot of messing around with it my hair eventually looked presentable, or I ran out of time and had to go to school either way I stopped trying at some point.

I remember before I started wearing a wig I would wash my hair every morning. It didn't make my hair fall out any faster, in fact it made no difference at all. The only reason I did it was so that my hair would never be greasy, any amount of grease or dirt would weigh my hair down and show my scalp more. I always thought that made it look thinner and showed up the patches at the front and back. So I washed it every day and then I would comb it carefully and part it in a way that I thought looked best, it was I guess a comb over of sorts. Of course I know that by the time I arrived to class it more than likely looked a hot mess but still, it was an important ritual. I would get very anxious if I didn't get to do this. Now it's different, I don't have to wash my hair all the time but I do have to get my wig into the right position and make sure that it's on straight and that my bangs are covering my hairline – everything has to look natural. Sometimes I feel really sad that this is my life, and then I feel guilty because it's not that bad really. I mean there are much worse things that could be happening to me.

This guilt stems from the first time I visited a doctor to get help with my hair. My mom was worried, I guess I was worried too, but I was 12 at the time and I hadn't fully understood what was going on. But Renee knew what it would be like to be a teenage girl with hair loss, or at least she could imagine the horrors that that would involve. Being a mom makes you really empathetic, I guess. I remember really random bits of that day, I know that it was oddly grey outside for the time of year and that I had gotten the afternoon off from school. Renee had noticed that there was a small bald patch developing at the front of my hair line, right where the parting was. It wasn't big just about the size of a dime maybe smaller, I can't really remember. The doctor we went to see was called Dr. Roe, he was young but serious and kind of grumpy. Renee explained her concerns and pointed out the areas that were particularly bad. Then there was a pause, I remember looking from my mom's face to the doctor's. Then I saw it – he rolled his eyes. If I'd blinked I would have missed it. But I didn't and I'll never forget the feeling of shame and self loathing that washed over me in that moment.

"This is a purely _cosmetic_ concern, Ms. Dwyer. This young lady is simply entering puberty, her body is being flooded with hormones right now. Seems to me that the girl will just have thin hair. And as far as I know, nobody has ever died from having thin hair," he chuckled to himself.

"But doctor, don't you think that the hair loss could be a sign of an underlying problem. Little girls don't just lose their hair. I mean it's not normal," Renee whispered the word normal.

"Mom it's fine, he said I'm fine. Let's just go," I pleaded. I was tugging on her sleeve, trying to hide my face from the doctor. I felt vain and worthless I didn't want to be in this sterile, bright room anymore. I could feel him staring at me, thinking I was stupid and superficial.

"Bella shh, please. Can't you just run some tests, check her blood?" she said, her voice sounded weak. I could tell she was losing it a bit.

"Now Ms. Dwyer, let's not get hysterical," I noticed my mother blanch at the word 'hysterical'. "There is no point wasting resources on something that is completely harmless. Now my advise is to get your daughter some mild shampoo, nothing too chemical based and try not to worry," he handed my mother a prescription that said 'mild shampoo' and 'don't worry'.

I'd never seen my mom so lost for words, but here she sat as still as a statue, staring at this asshole who'd made me feel about 2 feet tall.

Then she did something that made me very proud to have her as my mom, she crumpled up the prescription in her fist and threw it at the doctor. She hit him right in the middle of his forehead. Before he could react she grabbed my hand and said, "Come on Bella, we're getting a second opinion." Before I knew it we were back in the car and she was promising me we'd find an answer, she really believed she could fix this.

"Please mom, let's just leave it alone. I know he was mean but maybe he's right maybe it is just thin hair," I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh my baby," she said. She touched my cheek and smiled sadly. We said no more about it for about a year, I hated to talk about it. I felt so foolish when we did, the doctor's almost mocking tone would worm it's way into my mind and so I'd change the subject.

After that I threw myself into books, if I couldn't be pretty I was going to smart and fierce. I listened to 90's riot girl bands and read obscure books about sex and death and feminism. I thought that if I came across as someone who didn't care about things like beauty and femininity that the staring wouldn't hurt anymore. But of course it didn't work. I still cared and I still care now. There is no getting away from it.

Maybe the doctor was right, in a way. I'm not going to die – not because of alopecia anyway. It is a bit vain I suppose, but I wanted to be fixed. As a doctor I had assumed he had all the answers. To be judged so harshly by someone who is so respected within the community had a very negative affect on me, I was very young and I think it had a profound affect on me.

Anyway when I finally did make it to school I was naturally in a state of total confusion. I just sort of wandered the halls for a while trying to find my first class, it was English – which I love – so I really wanted to make a good impression. By the time I found the right room I was 15 minutes late, Mr. Berty seemed to be in a good mood though so he wasn't too hard on me. I found a seat at the back of the room and tried to feel out the other students. There is a really cool girl in that class, her name is Alice and I think Mr. Berty might have a crush on her. Anytime she answered a question or made a comment (which actually happened quite a bit) he'd get all bashful. It was kind of gross. She has really a really cool pixie hair cut and she wears really awesome clothes. She also made some really smart comments in class too. Ok now I sound like I have a crush her! I guess I just wish I was more like that. She was so at ease with herself and she didn't seem to stress out about what other people were thinking of her. It was a little bit inspiring.

Biology class was ... interesting. I've already studied the topic they are covering right now, so the class itself is boring and my lab partner is a creep. But he's probably just freaked out by me because when I came into the room a fan blew my hair everywhere, I mean really why the heck do they need a fan here? It's fucking freezing in this town! But anyway this dumb fan messed up my hair and I was desperately trying to get it all back into place without acting like a bimbo about it.

I looked up expecting to see the rest of the class looking at me in horror having seen the horrible truth that lies beneath my lovely hair, but nobody was looking. They were all absorbed in their own lives, except for one guy. One smokin hot guy who was staring at me really intensely. He has this reddish brown hair that was all messed up like he just didn't give a fuck and he has these intense green eyes, they're not weirdly bright but I could tell they were green even from far away. Even his clothes were hot – black leather jacket, grey hoodie underneath and black jeans. I also noticed his boots were all scuffed up and they kind of looked like they were about to fall apart. So now I have a hopeless crush, hopeless because judging by his weird staring he knows or at least suspects that I'm wearing a wig or that something strange is going on with my hair. When Mr. Banner started talking to me I was still patting my hair down and fixing my bangs.

"You must be Isabella Swan? Welcome, welcome! Here is your text book and you will be sitting with Edward Cullen," he said in a rush. He pointed towards the hot guy who knows too much. I braced myself as I turned to walk towards the bench where he was seated.

"Hi," I murmured.

He didn't respond, he just kept staring at me and now he looked a little bit pissed off. Of course he didn't respond he knows I'm a bald wig wearing beast why would he want to talk to me? He didn't speak to me but he did switch between staring at me and looking super annoyed for no reason. I have no idea what his problem is, maybe he plans to torture me now that he knows I'm hiding my real hair. Oh god what if he tries to pull it off. Ok, ok I'm going to try to calm down. I don't know for sure that he knows yet so there's no reason to freak out. All I know for sure is that he doesn't like me, hopefully he'll just leave me alone. Although later this week we'll be doing some work with our partners like experiments, not sure how that will go. I hate my life.

Lunch was just as horrible as I expected it to be. I didn't know where to sit, or whether to sit at all. I considered just getting some fruit and heading outside but it was raining – of course! I scanned the cafeteria floor to asses my options. I spotted my lab partner sitting with Alice from my English class. She is talking animatedly with a blonde amazon, a guy who must be on steroids and another guy who I guess is her boyfriend judging by their body language. And then there was Edward, he wasn't involved in their conversation because he was staring at me again. I felt dizzy and sick – what if the kids here start treating me like the kids at my old school. He knows something, I know he knows my secret or at least suspects. I'm going to try to avoid him as much as possible from now, I'll be polite but aloof. I wish that I could get to know him, maybe date him but that sort of thinking is for other girls. Not me. I can't risk thinking like that. The higher I let myself get the harder the fall will be. And I've learned that there is always a fall.

In the end I saw Angela who is in my Spanish class, I sat with her and her friend Jessica. Mike and Ben also sat with us, they are all really nice. They keep the conversation at a very friendly and easy going level – nothing too heavy. Which is great because it's easy to fake being comfortable when people are just doing the small talk and banter thing.

One really, truly amazing thing that has happened was seeing Jake for the first time in forever! He is so grown up now, I guess he must think the same about me. When he arrived he sort of looked at me for a minute but then it was just like when we were kids we laughed and talked and just relaxed. He didn't mention my hair and didn't really seem to notice at all. I've become very good at noticing when people aren't listening to me anymore because they're too focused on my scalp. I can see their eyes wandering up to my hair. Then they're mesmerized and I feel like I can read their minds: _What could possibly be wrong with this girl that she has the hair of 107 year old?_

Jake and I go way back. We were friends when I lived with my dad and then after that we'd hang out whenever I came to visit for the summer – it's been a few years since I've been back. I felt especially bad about that when I got here a few weeks ago and found that Charlie had left my room in exactly the same state as I'd left it like four years ago.

Jake reminds me of a time when I wasn't worried about my hair falling out. That was such a happy and free time for me. He makes the past feel alive again. We spent Sunday evening in my living room watching old TV show, our favorite is Twin Peaks. We watched so many episodes, like almost the entire first season. He makes me laugh – I laughed a lot and didn't think about my wig once. He's an amazing friend, we've made plans to hang out next weekend at La Push with his friends, I might invite Jessica and Angela. Having Jake to hang out with makes things seem a little less bleak here.

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**A/N Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing (if you did!), it really means a lot to me. **

**Also I added some information about Bella's particular type of hair loss to chapter one, but if you have any questions about it or anything just ask me :)**

**I hope you liked this chapter x x**


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